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Tell Your Mama, Tell Your Pa, I’m Gonna Send You Back to Ravenclaw

In honor of the Harry Potter festival in Chestertown, I’m going to use this post to speculate on which Houses my characters might be sorted into. (This is the part where somebody screams “READ ANOTHER BOOK!” If you only knew how many books I’m reading right now…) In the Locksmith books… Lock himself would be in Gryffindor. This would be a great surprise to him, and to no one else. Gary, most obviously, would be in Ravenclaw. Tara would probably go to Gryffindor just for showing up, given the nature of her problem. Although Brandon’s instinct is to side with whoever is strongest, which is a Slytherin trait, he would most likely Sorted into Hufflepuff — he doesn’t have much of a mean streak and is of somewhat malleable character, so the best thing to do would be to put him with kids who are nice and have a good work ethic. In the Altered Seasons books… I think the Bradshaws would end up being one of those families where everyone ends up in the same house. Like the Weasleys, they’d be in Gryffindor. All of them are not so much brave as fearless — Chelsey takes stupid risks because she has no sense of self-preservation, Isabel just doesn’t have time to be scared and Kristen is on a first-name basis with Jesus. As for Scott… well, I’ll get to him in the next book. Isabel’s boyfriend Hunter would be a Hufflepuff, and would be convinced he'd brought shame on his family because of it, but again, that House would probably be better for him. Sandra Symcox — obvious Ravenclaw. Holbrooke Morgan — obvious Slytherin, and the kind who gives the House its reputation. Carrie Camberg — tough call, but probably Slytherin. (All politicians are Slytherin until proven otherwise.) She is highly ambitious, and at least on her mother’s side comes of an old family. (An old Jewish family, but that wouldn’t be a problem for wizards.) She has a basic decency to her, but so did Harry Potter himself and that didn’t stop the Hat from wanting to Sort him into Slytherin. She is also highly… conscious of her own self-interest. Her right-hand dude Jerome Ross would also be a Slytherin. Her husband Roger, on the other hand, would be a Gryffindor. He’s a glaciologist, which seems like a Ravenclaw sort of occupation, but it involves a lot of him traveling by himself into dangerous parts of the world, and he isn’t happy when Carrie makes him stop. Their daughter Thel is also very much a Gryffindor. If you’re guessing that this leads to conflict, you’re right. Henry Pratt is particularly hard to place. He’s smart, and has a knack for lateral thinking, but he also has his blind spots. He’s ambitious and aristocratic, but strongly principled and doesn’t reflexively seek power or advantage. There’s at least one crisis that he handles like a Gryffindor. But I’m going to say Ravenclaw, for the same reason I’d say Walter Yuschak goes into Ravenclaw — they’re both men of ideas. They both fall in love with their ideas, and are too slow to realize when their ideas are letting them down.

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